late night random messages

its been sometime, but it was an ordinary evening, an evening after work, i just thought of saying hello, no purpose at all, well maybe i just wanted him to say hello back so i sent him a message. It took hours before he replied, but this time I wasn't in any torture state of waiting, he said something like I'm okay and nothing really more than that. I wished him good luck like I always did before when I still wanted to say a lot of things but this time I just meant to say good luck really because he's taking his exams soon, and I thought to myself he's still very much the same, he sends messages seemingly he doesn't put any effort to carry on with a conversation, just like exactly the very first time we met months and months ago... so I said goodnight and nothing more than that.. then he replied again, in a way he never answers back when you say goodnight to each other, so he said wait, what about you, how are you? something like that in Tagalog, I told him I'm okay, i mean there wasn't much to say, so he said okay goodnight and take care.. and I said good night too and yes I did say maybe we should get coffee sometime, for no reason at all... I mean I don't mean tomorrow but one of this days, and he said okay, goodnight.. I don't really know what he meant by that, by I guess its fine coffee or without, it'll be nice to see and talk to him again, oh okay for the holidays sake , its Christmas anyway =D

Happy Birthday Love

happy birthday love!

its my boyfriend's birthday,and well our first month actually, and a first for an official mature relationship for me...lol, you know what i mean.. its also officially October... my schedule will be changing for this month, no more five days straight morning duty and double off after . who knew i would survive that schedule..

i promised to go on a diet..but i never do..gosh.., but i will, i will, ...chester said i'm losing weight but he keeps making fun of me every time anyway so i don't know if there is any truth to that. hmm what else, i went to the supermarket today, then these two ol' women followed me and were asking me something, thinking i was working there.. i was like, what? since i was wearing a blue shirt, i would have said you look like you were the ones working here..but hey that's a bad idea since i was at the cashier and it would sound like working there was below societal measures or what, so i just shrugged it off, and laughed but the two ol' women thought i was making fun of them, sheesh they should get a life..then they even joked about it, i was like huh, what losers..

lol i'm so mean, but i controlled myself..goodness.. anyway what else? and yey wow I've got my first brown paper.. its crazy i know, i'm being sarcastic with the word yey too.. and guess what it wasn't my fault, okay maybe i was at 1% but when you look at it at all angles i wasn't at fault at all, it was clearly an accident but you know how people would like someone always to be at fault, and at accidents no one is at blame... my oh my, but some do not understand that including some old people , my gawd...get a life , how can you seriously be so stupid people?!

yay i'm losing my patience again.. i should not.. no no no, so i am going to stop here..haha

anyway i'm very much happy at the moment.. i miss my boyfriend super.. i wish he's here and we can grab coffee anytime anywhere then i'd tell him about my issues at work or anything nonsense, cause he thinks i'm always amusing even when i'm not..

i miss my lola too, always.. i miss having to tell her about these things, and talking about boys you know.. and i always cry when i talk about her so i'm stopping here.. gosh..

thank you Lord for everything..everytime, everyday.

thoughts

aloha dear blog!

how am i? im supposed to sleep early today, since my boyfriend won't be online later or he might not find the time to do so today, that's what he said last night over chat.. its really weird, you know, this long distance thingy, i've never been in one, i wish it was easier you know, the circumstances, but well anyway got to live with it if you can't change it..haha.. i started reading our conversation last night over chat, for some reason, i suppose i miss him genuinely when he ain't around.. then i started blog hopping and i decided to visit my old site in multiply, and to browse over my guy's site as well.. albums and photos, his past girlfriends and more.. lol, and i found myself thinking how serious could he have been by those things that he keeps saying the past weeks.. he probably brought home too many girls already, that is factual, .. and well how many more.. and i thought to myself i don't know if i believe him actually, i know i know its weird, but i don't want to get hurt again..never never, i mean i probably would get hurt again if i do decide to open up myself completely, but i do not want to do that yet.. and how i suppose its fair sometimes, .. i remember hanging out with joram, one of my closest friends, and us talking about me, and me in this relationship, and me in my past relationships, me and my past guys, me and the guys I have gotten over with, and suppose I have not gotten over! lol.. I think i'm grammatically wrong in saying me when I should be using I? anyway with the part I have not gotten over, lets get back to that after my highschool reunion this year, (if i do get to attend it) haha.. why am i saying these things? gosh, its not that i doubt my guy, i shouldn't, i know he loves me, gawd he probably does you know? and i love him don't i? ... but how come i'm so cynical now, why don't i believe that love takes chances and those kind of nasty mushy corny insensible stuffs? I used to be daydreaming about all the time, I used to be really brave and tough when it comes to proclaiming i love you or i want to be with you forever things, how can i be so different now? gawd.. but its not that i miss the old me, or you may say that.. i just miss that feeling of free fall, not afraid, taking the risk, being so alive and not hiding anything..why can't i do that now? lol.. just when i got older, and love could mean something more serious, and just when i'm already with someone, i think about these things..tsktsk..

i guess i'll just pray about it.. i love him ..he knows .. and i hope God guides us on this one.

at long last, a new post

hello dear blogspot,

how are you, been so long since i wrote down something.. let me see, the last one was June, so counting months that would be 3 months, or lets say 12 weeks. hey I've always thought 12 was a lucky number hehe... a lot has happened.. quite a lot.. i am now 23, lol.. i pretty much think like not 23 though, .. Lola is now in a better place..yes.. we all know she is.. i miss her you know, i miss her so bad but sometimes i try really hard not to think about it.. because then i wouldn't feel so sad.. so well, it has been a great journey, thank you Lord.

uhm, what else, a lot of people came over during Lola's wake, and we were almost complete, i mean tita ann, tito nohmar and tito brick were here, almost since tita vivian wasn't here but we all know Lola understood that.. i hope they get to come over really soon, especially on Christmas, that would be so better. (Lord, i know you can hear me). ehehehe

my previous post was about somebody, you know who.. lol, but it seemed like a long time ago since i kept crying like whatever, i would probably see him soon since we always hold a high school reunion every year, and well,we still are classmates after all... i broke my heart again actually after that one, i know right, unbelievable klutz i am tsktsk.. but guess what? I'm with someone now, lets say , yes its pretty much official. lol , i know that's different since i always keep my love life at a low key, very low key that nobody would really care if i suddenly become single again.. now that would be exaggerating because, I'm sort of never single but never in a relationship haha..

anyway and anyhow, yes I'm in a relationship right now (do i hear an applause), haha... my friends know, my family knows.. and God knows.. and you would probably ask me if I am in love with him, well I suppose i am,clearly and honestly i don't know much if there's truth to what i say every time since I've said those words to so many times before to different guys.. (you should know better, i have so many posts about that already =p) .. he's away right now, sort of a long distance relationship.. i have never been in a long distance relationship, so God help me .. and i really meant me, cause i think he could handle it way better ..hehe..
but well wish us luck then.. I'll get back to you soon,

nothing is new at work.. its been a year since i started there ..time passes so quickly. sighs*

song playing: long distance by Bruno mars

* I miss you Lola

Thank you Lord, still for everything..

p.s. it wasn't June, it was April since my last post.. =p I know you missed me..haha..and my emo moods..

and truth be told.. i miss you..and truth be told i'm lying..

=p

when you see my face hope it gives you hell. now where is your picket fence love and where is that shiny car, did it ever get you far?

=p

I'm just singing along, saw GLEE a couple of days ago and they performed this song, the original was sung by All American Rejects.

and when you find a man who treats you well, then he's a fool, you're just as well..

=p

I like it, i like the song... hmmm bagay ito kantahin sa isang tao na kelan lang ay okay kami .. pero ngayon hindi na! wahehe..at dati nasasaktan ako pero ngayon hindi na din.. =p at bakit bakit bakit? ako ay nakangiti na naman ngayon ulet... habang tinatype eto..

when you see my face hope it gives you hell, when you walk my way hope it gives you hell..

iniisip ko ano kaya sasabihin ko sa 'yo kung sakaling natuloy nga at nagkita tayo ngayong araw na to..? hmm wala...kakanta na lang sana ako ng..and truth be told i miss you.. and truth be told i'm lying...

=p you can take back your memories they are no good to me, and here's to your lies you can look me in the eyes with that sad sad look you wear so well =p................

but truth be told and i'm not lying..im in glee right now =p

may mga araw na ganito

oo na oo na oo na magda-diet na ko!!! magdadiet na talaga ko... gosh gosh gosh i must have gained weight..at sa dami dami ng sinulat ko sa blog na to na hindi nagkatotoo, eto talaga gagawin ko naaaaaa...kaya ikaw walang kokontra...mamatay na ang kumontra.. wuahahahaha... parang eto yung mga araw na bwisit na bwisit ako sa seatmate ko na si clyde dati kaya ako nagdiet..epektib in fairness....

so anyway ..

nangyari na ba sayo yung pumila ka sa fx, siguro mga pangatlong fx ka pa o pangalawa basta di ikaw yung susunod na makakasakay...tapos naisip mo na ang tagal, mga lima o sampung minuto na wala pa din dumadating, at humahaba na yung pila sa likod mo, tapos narealize mo na paano kaya kung magbus na lang ako o kaya ay magtaxi.. na parang gusto mo na umalis sa pila..pero naisip mo sayang na yung inintay mo na oras diba, tapos ang haba na nga nung pila sa likod mo, tsaka paano kung di ka na makasakay ng bus o taxi din? at paano kung biglang dumating yung fx sakto na umalis ka sa pila?..parang pag-ibig ano? kaya di mo alam kung maghihintay ka ba o aalis na lang.

hanep hanep, naisip ko lang lahat yan habang nakapila ako sa may sm kanina..siyempre hindi na ako nageemote dun tulad ng dati..dahil alam mo na ...

tapos buti na lang dala ko yung headset ko kaya nakikinig ako ng radyo, habang katxt ang ibang tao at tawa ko ng tawa habang kumakanta, at gusto ko na nga sumayaw din ..tapos biglang may lalapit na maglilimos ng pera, hihingi pala ng limos, habang busy ka nagtetext at siyempre di mo papansinin para umalis na lang, pero hindi hindi hindi talaga aalis , hanggang di ko sinasabi na wala..siyempre may pera naman ako pero ewan ko ba't hindi ako nagbigay o bakit hindi nagbibigay ang mga tao... tapos naisip ko din siyempre bakit ba ako yung nilalapitan niya e ang dami dami naman namin doon , dahil ba tumatawa ako o kaya naman e nakaheadset ako..bakit, e wala nga akong pera na pangtaxi e...

hanep talaga... naisip ko lang isulat..bilang ayaw ko na magshout out sa facebook =p

i'm back =D

ang weird kahapon ay emo ang blog ko pero ngayon ay hindi... just read someone's blog...one of my favorite bloggers sa net actually... " you don't quit just because you're not happy at the moment, that's why its called a relationship.." and i thought to myself, my oh my am i always the quitter..like i stop when it hurts, i stop when i'm not happy, i stop when its unfair...now don't get me wrong, i'm never scared, maybe, next time..i can make it right..with God's help of course....hehehe

anyway..i am back on morning duty! yebah! i miss seeing a lot of people pag duty... and i still love a.m duty because i get to chat with my co-workers and mas exciting kaya, mas madami kaso..okay ang night, pero i look so bloated now, altered kasi ang sleeping at eating habits ko...

goodnyt guys..goodnyt mr. e =D